My view of best relationship & My weekend dairy ♥

Final has almost gone, what do you plan on your weekend ?
For me, I gonna go somewhere snowing right now and have a great Christmas with family.
 These past few weeks were like hell to me, no hang out, no movie, no fun, no sports at all..
Gosh, It almost killed me with bored. Finally, hard time has gone, Lucky me right ? >.<

Do I look like old lady ? Yes, I am :) An old lady with a young heart.
Yesterday was the first time that I am allowed to go party after Final.
Well, A thing is valued if its RARE, believe me, its always be =]
Thus, even thought party makes you feel relax or happy, but after a long time, it makes you feel bored same as study maybe relationship. at least to me. ><

Actually, being a girl, isn't a bad thing. its depend how you think about it.
for example, we dont have much stress as boys do. No matter Western or Eastern, the stress always comes to men, not women and its base on tradition. Being a man is too hard and stressful especially in this genaration.

If you think over carefully, its so many benefits of being a girl especially in this generation. I'm not sexism, I'm just proud and feel happy that I'm a lady =]

Second Topic, What is the view of you best relationship?
That's one of my friends ask me past few days ago, and my respond was " I dont know 7.7"
haha, Dude, I am only 18 and in CA 18s are not supposed to drink alcohol, thus I am totally not an adult yet. Do not talk to me with serious question, unless its about study ><.(kidding)

Best relatiobship,
responsibility of relationship,
blahbblahvla~~~~~~~ it makes me headache all the time...=.=

Since he said so, I was thinking about it just now.

Foe me, the best relationship is When,
You two act like lovers and best friends.

It's when you have more playful moments than serious ones.
It's have you can joke around,
have unexpected hugs and random kisses.

It's when you two give each other that specific stare and smile. It's when you'd rather chill inside to watch a movie,
have junk food, and cuddle than go out all the time.

It's when you'll stay up all night to settle your arguments and problems. It's when you can be yourself completely and they love you for who you are ♥ ..

背叛，是我永远的痛。 【金屋藏娇】

不知道大家有没有听过【金屋藏娇】， 大多数是指第三者或情妇什么的。

金屋藏娇，是汉武帝给陈娇的一个承诺。陈阿娇从小到大都是被宠爱的，而汉武帝时不受宠的王子而他的身份是尴尬的。只有阿娇不离不弃，要的只是他这个人而已。皇后什么，她不屑，因为他已经是大汉就尊贵的公主。外祖母是太皇太后，母亲是大长公主，舅舅是皇帝。

女人是可悲的，她被一道召纸废后打入冷宫，因为汉武帝猜疑长公主功高盖主。

现在到我发牢骚了><

记得那年，那间学校，不平静。遇到他之前，我觉得男生很蠢，才认识不到几天就会爱上对方，什么事情都做得出。后来我才知道，原来，恋爱中的人都是疯子。

和一大班同学一起到澳洲读书，认识了那个大胆不羁，无视风度，又热爱自由的他。

我知道他和前度还没有完全断干净，以前的我一定不屑理会他的追求。所以我说恋爱中的人，都是疯子。叛逆如我说到‘ 在爱情里，不被爱的人，才是第三者。’从小到大，我不屑于别人争东西，爱情也一样。是我的就是我的，别人抢不走。我们无所不谈，从梦想，到学校，家庭到友情，人生观。

我的学校很复杂，我的同学应该知道的。不知道进入这间学校对我们是好还是坏，付的学费，教会我们的只是，朋友背叛，老师离间，拉拢人心。我一进这间学校就知道，所以从来不与他们交心。因为我知道不管怎么争，得利的是坐在里面的那位。伤害的是，身边在乎你的。

对我来说，不值得，我的能力迟早有一天，会有人发现发觉。不需要践踏别人，更何况我们还是少年期，享受青春比较和我意。

他么，是我见过，最矛盾的人。六个月的热恋期，对我来说像做梦一样。原来也只是觉得跟他在一起，不会觉得闷而已，时间越久，却发现他，很矛盾。

他热情，大胆不羁，重情义，但是他对敌对的人决对不会留情。

友情爱情，孰轻孰重。也许对他来说，权利，虚荣比较重要，当我阻止他的那个时刻，我已被他抛弃。虽然在一起时，也有几次帮他，但是那也是在保护他，在不伤害，不与他们为伍的情况下。是我太天真了，低估了全部人的野心。他也只是需要一个没有野心，坚持局外人立场，不会背叛却又全心全意为他的一个女生。而他的前度，真的比我聪明很多，很多。

从来没有想过，这种倒霉的事情会发生在我身上。我也只是想要与爱的人逍遥自在而已。第三者也只是一个借口而已，原来我才是那个第三者。一个有用处的第三者。一通通暧昧电话，信息都在抹杀我的骄傲。突然想起，不爱的人，才是第三者。那我现在是不是第三者，还是从来都是。也许在别人眼里，我骄傲，不屑又叛逆，才是那个第三者。我不解释，因为我不在乎，不在乎流言蜚语，我曾经在乎的只是他这一个人而已。可是又怎样呢，也许我从来没有了解过他，也许我爱的是那个笑的单纯，又没心没肺。伤心时，就和我一起哭，无奈宠我的男生。他抹杀我的骄傲，我抹杀他的天真，这算扯平了吗？

绝望是什么感觉。是万箭穿心。是万念俱灰。是伤心欲绝。

众叛亲离，大概就是这种意思吧。好朋友因为我偏帮他，也选择背叛我，他也因为怕我分手后报复，先把我封杀。然后在与他的前度，坐上队长位子，学校最热门的人物。老师也认为，我就是那个罪魁祸首，离间所有人。可是呢，在那个第一时间，似乎没有一个人是站在我身边的，那我要怎么离间？？ 我在怎么骄傲，我也只有十六岁而已，这些事情终于让我崩溃，但是没有显示给别人知道。既然他们这么认为，就有他们去吧。我解释反而会让事情更糟糕。对我而来说，爱时珍惜，不爱时祝福。既然他选择这么做，事情也已经发生了，解释反而多余。

我曾经很想知道，他为什么要背叛我。为什么是他？

朋友背叛我，没关系，我明白。可是为什么是你？

让我如此难堪，我却还要风清云淡的笑说，我不在乎。

我想知道，他在决定封杀我之前，有没有一点犹豫和后悔。

恨？ 要恨谁？怨？要怨谁？

恨自己不惜与全部人翻脸，也要和他在一起？怨他疑情别恋得太快？

恨他不相信我，不了解我，还是很自己做人太失败？

我又有什么资格叫别人永远服从我，了解我。

我根本不屑去做这种事情。

经过这件事情，我长大了，我考虑别人的感受，严格反省自己，把注意力放在学业与玩乐。尽量不与学校的同学来往。与父母交代的朋友孩子交往。一年过去，认识到一个想为我做菜的男生，也是我想认真交往的对象，显然【如果你忘不了旧恋情，原因是，一新欢不够好，二时间不够长】他很好，只是时间不够长。

对这间学校，我是怀念的，恨它？不，如果我控制得到我自己，又怎么会扯上麻烦。怀念我的朋友，全部。因为它，我成熟了虽然过程痛苦，也承认自己的失败。和他的前度做好朋友，以德服人。基本上，到最后，是我赢了我自己。

恨一个人，太累，我很懒惰的连嫉妒报复心都省了（没骨气）。背叛将是我永远的痛。说不出口的痛。有一个刚认识的朋友，正在UCLA读心理学，跟他相处很舒服，他建议，如果你说不出口，就写出来吧。不写出来，你不会前进的。

人要多勇敢，才能坦然面对过去的恋情。

爱上他，我心甘情愿，受伤，我也心甘情愿。不怪别人，我，愿赌服输。

我现在很勇敢。人生没有完美，也许这个痛会陪着我，但是它也可以警惕我。

对于他，我们就相忘于江湖。永不相见，永不相恋。

曾经我以为我疯了，其实恋爱中的人，都是疯子。而我，只可以任性一次，一次不受控制，已经用掉了。:) 伤心吗，现在的我，不一样了，曾经迷惘，曾经伤心。偶尔会寂寞，但是只要一忙或派对，就解决了。

纯粹发泄，:) 看过就算了，世界上比我悲惨的人多的是。我只不过是无病呻吟，其实我觉得好多了(^.^) 第一次爱上的人，给我这般教训，会不会太残忍。无所谓，即使孤独一个人，我也熬过来，不是吗？ ^.^

就把这份软弱放在这里，现实的我活在现实里。

Happiness, Anger, Sadness and Peaceful represented my life.( Anger's part))

Happy, Angry, Sad and Peace.

   I used to be very easy to get angry with anyone, Family, friends even the teachers of my high school.

I remember that there's once, I was arguing with my ex-principal, thus I was dropped out from the leadershipof kind of performances by her.

the reason why we had a quarrel was that I WAS BEING TOO CONFIDENT ON MY FACE DURING PERFROMING lol...I was really pissed off by what she said to me >,<

  Being confident is what a performer has to do. until now I still couldnt figure out what she meant TOO CONFIDENT ???

As a performer, the first thing we do when we are on the stage is to catch every one of the audiences' attention. So what I had done already caught her attention to me. So what was the point that she had been talking then ? I have no idea at all..

Do i look ugly, i guess so ;p

  Why am I talking about this topic suddenly, because I learnt it from my class today in the evening.

The lecturer said :" it doesnt matter what have you done in the process, because you have already achieved your goals.. Besides, if you want to chase your dreams, sometimes you gotta break the rules, right?

Ladies and gentlemans, Do not afraid of what people say and do to you, Do not feel ashame of what your dream is..

Try it and tell the world out loudly, Why cant I do it?!! and who the hell are you saying that I cannot ??

I used to be a rebellion,  uncontrollable, playful person. But now i have a chance to chase my dream and make it come true.. no mather how hard is it, how big the price is, I would never give up =]

 Anyway, what's wrong with rebellion or uncontrollable ?? I never smoke or take drug tho, its much better than others kkk... I just disagreed what they have done to others student, andI have my own idea of everything, it doesnt mean that you're my teacher or whoever, thus kills my idea and also my personality..:)

 Follow your heart and your mind, somehow we may be wrong, but we learn from mistake..

I know life isn't drawing, we dont have an eraser to erase what we have done to others..

But if we dont even try it, we won't know and how to be judged..

better kill me if you take off my freedom :)

 Whatever,  you are the master of your life and you judge your life :) That's all I want to say today :P

Tomorrow will be a cloudy day right ? ( praying) it has to be !!

Holeyyyyyy!!! GUYS, I GONNA RIDE A HORSE WITH MY BEST FRIENDS TOMORROW !!! Will be excellent fun!!!

【天后】，这首歌有你我的影子。

刚开始听到这首歌时， 我世界停止了。
就站在ktv 房外，听听地听完然后若无其事地走开。
因为我不会被动摇，至少在表面上。

1.就像这首歌里唱的，【有人疼，才显得出众】
【我陷入盲目狂恋的宽容，成全了你万众宠爱的天后】

2.可是我也听别人说过【就算全世界的人都喜欢你，除了你喜欢的那个，你也会觉得孤独而已】

虚荣是什么？ 物质上？ 还是心灵
 人是贪心的，当你有了物质享受，沉沦，堕落。朋友， 派对， 酒， 赛车。
 这么吸引人， 这么华丽， 青春本该是疯狂的。

 谁还会记得那个只因为我喜欢吃，就主修厨师的，
 忍受动不动就给他过肩摔，拳头的女朋友的男生。

这么单纯而温馨的世界，已找不回。
纯爱是脆弱而伟大的。至少心意是真的， 单纯喜欢也是真的。
爱情是爱着时珍惜，不爱时祝福。

从纯真到成熟，代价是痛苦而漫长。路是自己选的，哭泣已经变得假惺惺。
我再也找不到那个味道。【人生若只如初见】 长大的代价， 重感情的人注定情伤。
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虚荣，谁不虚荣？我们年轻， 有些东西明知道是错的，还是坚持。

开心最重要。 人生就要，开心得没时间伤心。
叛逆，天生反骨，有什么不好。虚荣，野心大， 又有什么关系？
不尝试，谁知道是赢是输。做自己才最舒服， 放荡不羁，天生反骨又怎样。做我的朋友才不会无聊。
但是在公事面前有另一面是正常的。 公事私事永远不可混谈。
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【天后】
终于找到借口 趁着醉意上心头
表达我所有感受
寂寞渐浓 沉默留在舞池角落
你说的太少或太多
都会让人更惶恐

谁任由谁放纵 谁会先让出自由
最后一定总是我
双脚悬空 在你冷酷热情间游走
被侵占所有还要笑着接受

我嫉妒你的爱气势如虹
像个人气高居不下的天后
你要的不是我 而是一种虚荣
有人疼 才显得多么出众

推开苍白的手 推开苍白的厮守
管你有多么失措
别再叫我 心软是最致命的脆弱
我明明都懂却仍拼死效忠

我陷入盲目狂恋的宽容
成全了你万众宠爱的天后
若爱只剩诱惑 只剩彼此忍受
别再互相折磨
因为我们都有错

如果有一天爱不再迷惑
足够去看清所有是非对错
直到那个时候 你在我的心中
将不再被歌颂 把你当作天后
不会再是我

Starting my life in Los Angeles as a beginner :P:D

airport louge :p

I was waiting at the Airport Lounge in this pic..
08/13/2011 was a speacial day to me, and  It meant so much to me but not now anymore eventho I didnt want it to be like this :(
My parents said that You look like going to travel than study tho...I totally disagreed that :P:D
I didnt tears, it doesnt mean that i wasnt felt sad =]
I have been trying to be happy and possitive, life would be easier  right ? ^^
Time goes on, Im already 18 years old tho~~ 

On the plane, i asked for a wine, because i didnt want to have jet lag problem :P but my cousin did, pity of her :P:D
after 16 hours driver, oh~sorry,it is after 16 hours flight, finally we arrivaled LA safe and sound :D

Anyway, I couldnt remember that much yet, hahaha~~it was one month ago ^^

(forgive me if my grammar was wrong)